Things didn’t go my way after that terrible experience with Freddie. He was always calling even after I deleted his number. I sit opposite the therapist as she tells me about motivational stories. But as long as I’m breathing that didn’t change a thing.
After that rape incident , I suffered from depression. I almost took my life too thinking Freddie left with everything. The therapist was nice. She talk a lot of good stuff and give me a book to read. I was on dosage and always visiting the therapist for check up. For some awkward reasons I’m always indoors. I’m broken and my parents really didn’t help matters.
Every single mistake I make , they are always referring me as a whore and that made me cry and I had to be best friends with my room .
” We’re moving out.” Dad announces after dinner.
He lost his deacon position in our church and since then he hated me more. Maybe they don’t hate me , maybe they are just annoyed and hurt that my one bad move ended and stole everything away from them. Mom also lost her position too in our parish. The church withdraw the money they normally pay us and mom is always flaring up , using me as example. Always comparing me to Leslie.
” Moving out ?” Leslie asks tucking back her braids in her tight bun.
” Yes. Georgia has nothing for us since your sister Ariel spoilt everything. The church already dropped us from our positions and i won’t stand being just an ordinary member in our parish.” He says. He has always loved God. We were raised in fear of God.
I remembered when we were in highschool. Mom made rules for us.
• don’t date boys , they will break your heart.
• don’t date boys , God hates it.
• no sex before marriage or you’ll perish in hell.
I really didn’t get to remember all their rules cause it was useless. I was this nerdy girl in glasses. I don’t even have a boyfriend or an admirer. I was always bullied and insulted. Most times I body shame myself , thinking I wasn’t perfect. Freddie gave me light in homecoming when he told me I was beautiful. I stood opposite the mirror that night and i knew I was pretty maybe I wasn’t noticed yet but I didn’t care anymore after he told me he had a crush on school most popular girl. What about me ?
I gave up college and choose to go to nun school. Afraid of being bullied again. And now I’m a rape victim , so pathetic.
” We’re moving to Buffalo.” Mom adds glaring at me under her black eye liner and mascara. It’s so weird she wears that after advising us not to apply make up.
” New York.” Leslie exclaims.
” Something wrong ?”
” No.. I mean..” she stutters. New York’s her big dream city. Most times I think she secretly has a boyfriend. She’s always fund of so many social media celebrities and musicians. I’m not really a fan. it’s weird cause it’s what our parents wants. Leslie is always secretly gawking over many douche celebrity scum bags.
” New York is fun.” She squeal. I didn’t say a word since my speech are not always considered. I’m the bad egg.
” Yeah. Because of Alexa ?” Mom asks and furrows her brows at Leslie.
” No mom. Alexa is an ass.”
” Language..” dad snap at Leslie.
” I’m sorry.”
” I don’t really wanna see you hanging around Alexa. She likes boys too much . I even heard she had three boyfriends.” I secretly roll my eyes and fiddle my chopsticks on my ramen.
” I heard Doreen caught her watching porn on her laptop. What a child. So sinful. I’m really happy my Leslie isn’t one of this wild kids. Just like some people who sneak to have sex with their boyfriend when they are supposed to be a sister in church.” Mom fantasize and that hurt me.
She’s always talking about my bad fate. I bite my lip to hold back the pending tear but it luckily slip out. I hate my life. I get up from the table with my ramen and turn to leave.
” And where are you going ?” Dad ask through clench teeth.
” I’m going to my room. I need to take my medicine.”
” Yeah. It’s really weird you’re not pregnant , you would have been in the streets by now.” Mom utter followed by an irritating scoff.
” I’m just gonna leave.” I say and stomp out to my room.
I shut the door and lean against the door crying my eyes out. Most times I advise myself that it’s not worth crying about but , they keep on saying painful words. After about few hours of sitting close to the door I stand to my feet and look at my face in the mirror. I sit on the chair opposite the mirror and pull my knees to my chest staring right back at my reflection. I can’t even remember when last I smiled.
” Ariel..” my sister’s voice woke me up the following morning.
I rub my eyes and my eyelids feel heavy under my touch. My door spring opens as Leslie walks in smirking at me with her arms crossed. I hated that she’s my older sister.
” Good morning.” I greet her.
” Morning. You should get ready. Our flights leave in one hour time. New York.”
I scoff and watch her turn her back to leave . New York yeah ? Leslie is in college and I’m about to resume college once we arrive in Buffalo. What’s it gonna look like ?
The plane ride was terrible. I sit close to the window and glue my eyes to my book. A book given to me by the therapist and it’s to build me. She says it’s gonna strengthen me. and for the look of things it was helping. After about few hours of terrible plane ride , we walk out of the plane. I pull my bag close to me as I take in the view. I’ve not been to New York before.
” Yess..” Leslie squeal and take a selfie of herself.
” You mind taking pictures of me ?” She ask handing me her phone. I take it and wait for her to pose before taking pictures.
She pose several postures and I dare not complain. Mom and dad will definitely take sides with her. We entered our waiting car and I’m seated at the front with Leslie who couldn’t stop gawking at every single passing thing. I wasn’t bothered or thrill. I’m still gonna be bullied by my own parents. The car stops at our new house and it’s almost the same like the previous one.
I follow suit behind with my bags. I stare at the neighborhood and it’s beyond peaceful and beautiful. The trip past the stairs was aweful because of my bags. I didn’t complain but drag it alongside me. I walk into my new room and exhale. It needs a lot of work.
I begin cleaning and in less than few hours I was done arranging things accordingly. It’s evening already and I heard chatters of teenagers maybe. I step out of my room and stand on the balcony breathing in new air. Because of my bad fate , we’re in New York. Obviously I hope it’s gonna be better. I wanna be better. I’m far from Freddie and Georgia.
A week after , dad brought back my car. The car i used to drive in Georgia. I’m still wondering how it got here. That didn’t change them. They keep on reminding me of my mistakes and it’s hurtful. I drum my hand on the counter after drinking coffee that morning. Leslie was online. It’s obvious cause her phone won’t stop beeping and she won’t stop smiling.
” Having fun in New York ?” She ask me not looking away from her phone.
” Yes.” I reply her when it’s obvious I’m lying. Ever since we moved in , I haven’t step out of the house. I’m always indoors , taking my medicine and possibly reading. There wasn’t much to do around here and I’m not in any social media community like Leslie.
” It’s nice. I can’t wait to resume college.” I roll my eyes and continue tapping absently on the counter.
” Ariel , what are you doing ?” Mom ask standing right at the kitchen door.
” Nothing.” I reply flatly.
” Have you been taking your medications ?” She ask like she care. Maybe she cares about the money she paid the therapist.
” Yes ? And yet your pills still occupied this bottle.” She yells raising the bottle. For once Leslie look up from her phone and turn to look at mom.
” I…” I stutter. I’ve been skipping that one. The nurse says it depresses my brain tumor and I hate to think I have one.
” I what ? What’s wrong with you ? You went out there and slept with your boyfriend and then you started faking illness. Are you even aware I spent a lot of money on you after the nonsense you did. We’re skipping therapy in New York cause you don’t deserve it.”
” Shut up. Dirty little whore.” That’s it. Without another word , I’m already crying.
” Yeah go on and cry. I hope you don’t mess around in New York.” She scoff and threw my pills at me before departing the kitchen.
” Ooops.” Leslie scoff and look down on her phone.
I lift myself off the chair and walk out of the kitchen still crying. I continuously cried and smack the wall like it’s behind every of my pain. Without thinking twice , I slip out of my sweat pants and put on black jeans pants and baggy sweaters. It’s a bit cold out there. I pick my car key from the nightstand and storm out of the room.
I ignite the engine and drive into the main road. I don’t even know where I’m going , I don’t care cause I wanna be far from my parents. I didn’t check the time so i really didn’t know how long I’ve been driving. For once I stop driving and halt beside a road. It’s empty and peaceful just like my neighborhood. I lean against the seat and decide not to cry again. I can never be happy again. Freddie took it away the day he took advantage of me.
A cold air jolt me out of my thoughts as I turn to my side. A stranger was seated right next to me on my car as he shuts the door. It’s a guy , not just a guy but a really tempting man. Wait did I just call someone tempting.
” What are you doing ? Who are you ?” I stutter.
” What ! I just need a ride . You won’t turn a stranger down right ?” He ask with a smirk.
” I’m sorry , you should leave my car.”
” Car ?” He ask and I’m startled.
” Yes my car.”
He blink his eyes and look around my car. Dad gifted this to me when i was 17.
” I only see a box.” He scoff and fastened his seat belt.
” I’m gonna call the cops if you don’t leave my car.” I yell at this stranger.
He surprisingly stretch his phone to me with his cute smirk ? Wait cute ? God Ariel.
” You might wanna use my phone to call the cops. Maybe yours is down.” What a prick.
I blink my eyes as my mouth gape at his figure. What type of man oppressed a girl because he’s… At that minute, I took him in. He’s cute , yes I said cute. His grey eyes was out of explanation , they are taunting and taming. I noticed his jawline and a little Arabic neck tattoo. Oh he has tattoos. My eyes scan his face to his arm and I could see his dark inked arm from the sleeves of his black hoodie. He has tattoos there too. He’s like a God. But seriously , was I really checking him out ? One minute ago I was depressed and now I’m stuck with a total breath taking stranger in my car. I’m not usually the girl who has time to admire people especially when I’m from a Christian family.
” Stop checking me out and please drive , Tinkerbell.”
I couldn’t make out words and this wasn’t likely me. My eyes were already fix on his. It travel down his face and his rubby lips twitch as he smirk. Knowing fully well I was just checking him out.
Woah Ariel breathe. I can do this without embarrassing myself with just his sight. Words can’t describe him but I’m sure he’s illegal and bad news.
I’m never making heaven again.
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