Why? What? Are you surprised that I gathered the courage to ask my Mom? Then if not her, who should I ask? You probably don’t understand how I feel, you don’t know how crazily in love I am with my brother so much that it drives me crazy.
I thought of what Mike said, whether he is hiding something or not, it doesn’t matter anymore. What he said to me makes alot of sense and I am going for it. My parents has to tell me why I chose my brother of all the guys in the world, they has tell me if am cursed or what, they need to give me convincing answers.
The real thing that is driving me crazy is the fact that I can never be with him cox he’s my BLOOD, that’s the saddest of all.
Mom said never to hide something from her, she said I could always count on her, she said she’d be always there for me, she is my best friend!
Seriously, Momma needs to give me answers. Yunno the worst feeling, it’s feeling guilty cuz it degrades you and never goes away, less it’s resolved.
I hate feeling guilty, filthy, as a result of something I tried so hard to control but just couldn’t.
I was short of words when I heard Ella ask that question to Mom. It must have taken her a lot of courage to do that. She didn’t even allow Mom to rest before dropping the bomb. I never imagined that she would eventually do that, I thought she would investigate on her own and find out the truth. Not once did it occur to me that she would go directly to sought the truth.
Mom’s jaw fell when Ella dropped the bombshell. Am sure it took her by surprise….
Mom: Are you mad?
Ella : About to
Mom: Just now, what was that about?
Ella : Mom am serious, am in love with Mike. I don’t know how, when or why. It just happened. So I thought you would give me answers or at least have the solution to my problem.
Mom: Ella, are you being serious?
Ella : Even I don’t want to believe it but it just kinda happened, I don’t know
Mom: What sort of rubbish is that?
Ella : Am sorry Mom but..
Mom: But what, come on shut up!
Ella : Mom I can’t shut up, I have to come out clean. The truth is…
Mom: …taasaaii!!, Mom landed a slap on Ella’s cheek…. Can you listen to yourself? Just look at the nonsense that you are spilling in front of me!
Ella : …crying.. Even I don’t want to listen to myself but it’s true. Do you know for how long it’s been?
Mom: Are you deaf or something?
Are you on drugs? What’s wrong with you? What’s happened to my baby girl?
Ella : Mom it’s true! Am not lying, why would I joke with such thing. I came to you hoping that you would give answers but it seems you don’t have any.
Mom: What answer do you want me to give you?
Ella : I don’t know, I just don’t know. I thought maybe I am cursed or you were also in love with your brother or Dad with his sister, at least I would think that it’s hereditary and be comforted a bit. Then you tell me how you managed it all, how you handled… Something like that but there’s no such story right?
Mom: There’s no such story so get back to your senses.
Ella : I see, so I should just run crazy all by myself?
Mom: You’re already crazy, believe me. Make sure your Dad doesn’t hear about it.
Ella : Before running to you, I was ready for whatever that might happen. You better beat me to death cox I don’t want to live anymore.
That was when it dawned on Mom that Ella was being serious. All this while, she thought Ella was saying rubbish.
Mom: Just calm down ok. We’ll sort it out
Ella : Mom?
Ella : I am going crazy…she wiped her tears and L headed downstairs to meet Dad. I stopped her on the way “Ella please calm down, you’re taking this too far” she didn’t even notice me. She went straight to Dad with determination, frustration, annoyance, all written over her…
Ella : Dad please can I talk to you?
On seeing Ella’s mood, Dad dropped the remote and faced her. I was scared for her…
Dad: Alright go on. Are you OK?
Ella: Nope, am not fine
Dad : What happened? Did you fight with your brother?
Ella : Nope
Dad: Did your Momma beat you?
Dad: Then what happened?
Ella : Mom couldn’t give me an answer
Dad : To what?
Ella : To my questions
Dad… Becoming impatient… What questions nah?
Ella : Promise you won’t be mad at me
Dad: Come on, will you talk to me my friend!.. He thundered
Ella : …crying and shaking.. Daddy am scared.
Dad: Ok, I promise.
Ella : You won’t beat me baa?
Dad: ..stood up… Miguel!
Mike : Yes Dad!.. I answered from my hiding place
Dad: What on earth is wrong with your sister?
Ella : Am in love with Mike
Ella : It’s true, I consulted Mom but she wouldn’t listen to me
…….just then mom rushed inside
Mom: Honey pls don’t mind her… She dragged Ella by the hand to go upstairs
Ella : Mommy lemme alone. I came to you first but you just slapped me
Mom: Shut up and follow me
Ella : Mike pls help me nah.. She cried. I couldn’t do anything, just stood at one corner, watching the whole thing and swallowing my spit. I was just as scared as she is..
Dad : Honey leave her alone
Mom: Daddy don’t worry I’ll….
Dad: I said leave her alone!… Mom quickly let go of Ella. Dad turned to Ellie…
Dad: Eehen, what were you saying?
Ella : Am in love with Mike
Dad: Mike? Your brother
Ella : …sobbing.. Yes. I know it’s wrong. You’ll say am rotten, where are my manners. But I just can’t hold it in any longer. You are like what do you know about love? Believe me, it’s really driving me crazy. I feel so filthy, am a disappointment. That’s true but I just wish you could tell me what’s wrong with me. Why do I love Mike of all the guys I’ve met. Why does it have to be him, I’ve thought of it and it doesn’t make sense to me. You might think that I’m just nineteen but I do know what am saying. Mike is my brother and.. and..and…
Ella : ..still crying.. And, and its..
Ella : Yes Dad
Dad: Just breath OK. Calm down
Ella : .. Stamping her left foot on the ground…. Ooooohhhh why is everyone telling me to calm down! She shouted “You don’t know how I feel, do you? I started by saying that I want my boyfriend to be as handsome as as Mike when I grow up, when I was 16 I started wishing Mike was never my brother so I could date him, and yesterday night I..I.. Kissed him.
Mom & Dad: You what?
I was already trembling where I was, Did Ella just say that?
Ella : Yes, I kissed him. That’s the kind of daughter you have. She’s nothing to be proud of. She’s not the good girl you think she is, she’s very dirty, so dirty! No dignity, no self control, disrespectful, unrefined, dirty minded, shameful, a disgr… …
Dad : Mike is not your brother” dad bursted out
Ella : What?
Dad: Yes, Mike was adopted when he was little
Ella : Meaning?
Dad: Your mom is not the one who gave birth to Mike.
Ella : Mom is that true?
Mom: Honey you shouldn’t have…
Dad: Am proud of her, very, very proud of her. I love her guts, I love her sincerity, I love her courage. Not all children would do such, this shows you’d a nice job bringing them up. Some would do dirty things under your nose, you won’t know until things gets out of hand or the girl becomes pregnant. So, you should be proud of her as well. Ok
Ella : Mom is it true?
Mom: ..breathes in… Yes, you’re not blood related. I adopted Mike even before you were born.
Ella : Y’all lied to me, you betrayed me. Were you going to tell me the truth after I’ve gone mad? Y’all are cheaters!
Mom: Ella watch your mouth, don’t overreact
Ella : Oh, really?… Walked to Mike… And you, you knew about it yet you didn’t tell me
Mike: Am sorry but..
I didn’t even complete what I was saying, she gave me a heavy slap “I hate you! ” she screamed at my face with bitterness and ran out of the house that night. Twas already late, where could she have gone to? For two days, there was no sign of Ella….
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