Me: no be new thing na, everybody know that one.
Ugochukwu: I wish say em no commot from ona party, EFCC for nodey chase am like that.
Me: em never see anything, em wisdom don turn foolishness because of ego.
Ugochukwu: Okoye is a wonder-fool man. switch on the radio I wan hear details.
Me: wetin you wan use details do again? the money never explain everything?
Ugochukwu: I still dey look for evidence wey show say you get sense.
Me: na for only people wey get sense.
Anderson called and I informed him that we were on our way to my yard.
Ugochukwu: na which village we dey go first?
Me: Ochagba village.
Ugochukwu: na ona village be that.
Ugochukwu: we suppose start this campaign, or wetin you call am rally for ona village na.
Me: I no even include my village, those wicked people.
Ugochukwu: why na?
Me: na them kill my parents.
He took a bent curve and we past a scene that accident had just occurred, I saw some people running towards the road to steal some items instead of helping the victims.
Me: it all started after my eighteenth birthday, I write JAMB that year to enter University and JAMB jam me enter Poly. That christmas my papa carry us go village, I been dey enjoy wonderful christmas when I start to hear voices wey dey argue for our parlour. I stand up from my room to go see who and who dey argue with my papa for em sitting room, when I reach there I see my three uncles with my papa.
My dad: our ancestral family no get juju, why ona wan bring juju enter the family.
Innocent: we need am for protection and prosperity.
My dad: which juju dey give prosperity ehnn?
Dede: you think say we no know.
My dad: know wetin?
Evans: say you dey go Igwe to acquire powers, na em make you rich.
My dad: God forbid, I serve a father who lives in heaven. Everything I get today na because of him.
Dede: allow us to serve our own na, abi you no want make your brothers rich like you too?
My dad: why ona no drop the juju for ona house, ehnn?
Ugochukwu: why them no drop am for their houses?
Me: the thing tire me too oh!
Ugochukwu: dey tell me, remain small we go soon reach your yard.
He drove into the dirt road that led to the street that my yard is in, two children were running away from dog. And their actions cracked me up.
Ugochukwu: see your childhood days.
Me: I nodey fear dog, see small dog dey pursue those two big children.
And the funny part of it was when a woman saw them been chased by the little puppy, the fat woman kicked away her slippers and ran too. Everywhere just dey shake for her body anyhow.
Ugochukwu: your fat wife sabi run oh!
Me: I start laughing your daughter in law.
Ugochukwu: abeg, leave these people gist me.
Me: I clear my throat them leave our house that day with anger, my papa no gree them. Hatred started betwixt the elder brothers of the family, during our second semester exams my mama call me.
Me: hello, mommy. Good evening.
My mom’s voice: you no miss me bah?
Me: I missed you na, if I no miss you. Who will?
My mom’s voice: why you no call me?
Me: na exam ’cause am na, how is daddy.
My mom’s voice: na God oh! all is well, the first son of the family don die oh.
Me: we don reach, reverse abeg.
Ugochukwu: we dey go back.
Me: you no get sense, na backyard we suppose pass?
I opened the car’s door and waved at Anderson, the dyna was directly behind our car while three buses lined up behind it.
The speaking system were in it.
Anderson: honourable, make we proceed raising his hand
Me: as I speak to you, shout I need sense. We for stay here ehnn.
I entered the car back and Ugochukwu ignited the engine and we moved, they drove behind us.
Anderson’s voice: 1, 2, speak to the microphone. 1, 2 speak to the microphone. My people election don come again oh! no waste your vote, if you nodey vote before, na time to vote.
Another voice came on the microphone, which I recognized it to belong to Papa Jayjay. Because no one can be possess with such wit of madness with language.
Papa Jayjay’s voice: veto on creme-de-la-creme of this epoch with sagacious piety, even with my grammatical arsenal and my insurmountable high feet as orator his onslaught bamboozle me to my sepulchre.
Anderson: oh! people ona don hear am, that is the grammar man talking oh!
Papa Jayjay’s voice: spirited with Machievellian prince and the charismatic elements of Hitler with exploit of Alexandra. What an impeccable abracadabra, what an ad hoc!
Me: Ugo, stop this car. That man dey curse me oh!
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