Ugochukwu: chuckling annoyingly no be everybody be fan of mind your business like you na, social media you nodey, newspaper nkor you nodey gree read. Radio nkor, you nodey gree listen, when you see big yansh and big brea-sts all your sense go run enter your pri-ck.
Me: I talk am, you no get sense. I ask only simple question, I no ask you to teach me ways to be busy-body like you.
Ugochukwu: na the simple answer be that.
Me: you go just dey make person vex.
I walked away seeing several cameras planted around the hallway, na wa oh! I don’t normally see camera on the last floor it is usually at the second and first floors.
Food was on my mind not following Ugochukwu. I wonder how manage I no realize say hungry dey wire me. I walked pass the staircase and Ugochukwu tapped me on my shoulder.
Ugochukwu: you don pass the staircase oh.
Me: I know.
Ugochukwu: he frown you no go follow me again.
Me: to go do wetin?
Ugochukwu: aahh! aaahh!! you don dey use DVD last memory, to beg Alicia na.
Me: I wan go eat, run along young beggar.
I left him standing and did a u-turn getting into another passage that led to the first floor sitting room and kitchen with dinning, I turned towards the kitchen and started hearing a voice.
Voice: we rule the world girls! we rule the world girls!
Which world them rule na? na Earth or Pluto? I stepped into the kitchen and find Benita dancing and shaking her ukwu while getting busy with plates.
Me: who rule Africa, amu! who rule Africa, amu!
Benita: she turn and start laughing sir, is a lie.
Me: so ona own no be lie, na the small Africa we wan manage rule na em be lie.
Benita: women rule everywhere, if woman show her brea-sts men go go crazy, and wetin we get in between our legs kill Samson and made Solomon wisdom foolishness.
Me: bible student, hope say na you get this interpretation. No be your pastor, you wan know the importance of p—k?
Benita: oya talk, I wan know.
Me: p—k fit change your last name.
Benita: I be feminist.
Me: feminist kill you!
Benita: laughing hahahaha, you be jealousy I swear.
Me: all these things go end, I go soon enshrine civil amu rights for our education curriculum. We don over fight for women don forget say men dey suffer too.
Benita: no body go support your movement, only you and your amu.
Me: I start laughing see the way your mouth curve, abeg give me food. Hungry dey wire me.
I went to the dinning and await Benita to bring my meal, later another maid am not familiar with served the food.
I was digesting the meal when Ugochukwu appeared from nowhere, this food sweet oh!
Ugochukwu: na you go eat all these food?
Me: na me dey eat am na.
Ugochukwu: I don convince am.
Me: go give am the ice cream, tell her say you for take her out but make she accept the ice cream as the token of your love.
Ugochukwu: is that all?
Me: wetin remain?
Ugochukwu: my go give am.
He went and I devoured the food then went up to my room, I switched on the television and started watching movie.
I was still watching Acrimony when Ugochukwu came in, looking happy.
Ugochukwu: she don lick am finish.
Me: you get luck.
Ugochukwu: I also lick.
Me: I look at him when this manifestation of madness start?
Ugochukwu: she no gree lick the ice cream, she say make I lick am first.
Me: so you follow am take abortion pill, you wan abort your sense or wetin?
Ugochukwu: no be abortion pill be that, which school you finish from?
Me: commot from my room, I no wan see you again.
I carried him with his arm and kicked him out of my room, I locked my door and went to sleep.
The next morning, my phone woke me up from sleep.
I picked the call coming in from Anderson.
Anderson’s voice: honourable talk and do! I salute you, good morning.
Me: which one I go respond to, salute or good morning?
Anderson’s voice: both, I don arrange wetin you send me.
Me: do am well, later by noon we go go the Village. Make sure say the tenants dey inform oh;
Anderson’s voice: no problem.
He ended the call and a knock landed on my door, I went to the door and opened it and Ugochukwu flushed in.
Ugochukwu: oboy, how far?
Me: I dey, this one you burst in. Wetin sup na?
Ugochukwu: abeg, I want make you follow me go Shantel their house, I want start to dey pay for her head.
Me: that one no be wahala.
He went back to his room and I slept more before I got up and tidied up, after our breakfast we got out of the house and went to a shopping mall.
We were busy shopping for Shantel’s and her mother in the mall when something happened.
Me: guy, you don call Shantel make she no go work today.
Ugochukwu: yes, na.
Ugochukwu: person dey call you daddy.
Me: I feel a hand tugging at my trouser who?
Ugochukwu: look your leg.
I looked at my leg and saw a little girl tugging at my trouser, I jumped away wondering what kind of problem is this one.
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