Benita was shaking like person wey them catch with meat that she stole from her mama soup pot, my heart beats changed beating oh..
I turned and saw Ugochukwu standing with his hands in his pockets.
Ugochukwu: laughing hahahaha clapping his hands ewooohh! see the way ona act like criminals wey them don catch.
Benita: thank God. she make a U-turn and tuwama
Me: you don shisha your brain for the club you go bah?
Ugochukwu: my girlfriend no gree my go the club last night.
Me: how she take know say you wan go clubbing?
Ugochukwu: he shake his head you don forget who Shantel be?
We went inside the house discussing, we took the staircase and just then my phone rang.
I brought it out and the caller was Anderson my caretaker.
I picked it…
Anderson: honourable talk and do one of Port-Harcourt!
Me: if you dey call me to beg me money, sorry the ATM machine that you are about to withdraw is unable to dispense cash.
Anderson: ahh! ahhh! Oga landlord no be so na, today na Felicia traditional marriage oh.
Me: ooh! oohh!! Make she no vex na, I don even forget.
Anderson: we dey wait for you, for yard so that all of us go follow go. We don already rent bus.
Me: okay, I dey come.
Ugochukwu looked at me.
Ugochukwu: you wan go?
Me: yes na, na the yard tradition. You go come?
Ugochukwu: for sure na, wetin I wan come dey do for this empty house.
Me: you for go visit Shantel na, make ona do small.
Ugochukwu: do which small? that girl no gree make I even see color of her pa-nt sef, if you see wetin she wear last night ehnn.. Make I no even tell you.
Me: marry her and see.
Ugochukwu: what of Cynthia and more future fine chicks nkor?
Me: I don forget say you no get future after fine chicks.
Ugochukwu: make thunder shift your amu.
Me: I wish you the same.
We got to the landing and stepped out of the staircase together, I went inside my room while he went inside his own.
I took my bath and came out, thank God I came with my chiefo. I wore my uzor expensive title attire.
With my expensive walking stick and my first edition Italian shoe. Nodey look me like that, somebody cannot lie again.
I wore my uzor title cap and stepped out of the room, Ugochukwu dress to win wives also like me.
As we came down the maids were just giving us signs and wonders, some are even drooling, one even faint.. Nothing like that oh! They were admiring handsome men sha..
The securities were wishing us to be gays the way they were blown away by our out-fit and my handsome look, make Ugochukwu go collect em praise from Shantel.
We entered the car and Ugochukwu mounted the wheel.
We gunned down the road, his phone started ringing while we are on the expressway. He connected it to the car’s speaker and raised the side glasses up.
Ugochukwu: hello, my baby na Sha sha.
Shantel voice: good morning, my love.
Ugochukwu: I just commot from your house and you don dey miss me.
Shantel voice: giggle ehnn.. Where you dey go?
Ugochukwu: to meet my friend for governor house.
Shantel voice: I see danger.
Ugochukwu: you too dey see danger, I go come your house for evening.
Ugochukwu: I cross my heart, I go come with gift sef.
Shantel: okay oh, I love you.
Ugochukwu: I love you more.
Shantel: I love you morer.
Ugochukwu: I love more more more.
Me: em don do! I shout and hiss
Shantel: is that my boss voice?
Ugochukwu ended the call and started whistling, I wonder which kind mumu love them dey play for highway.
Ugochukwu: singing jealousy jealousy! some people no get girlfriend..
Me: hope say I no follow oh.
Ugochukwu: na you talk am oh! no be me talk am oh!!
I hissed and switched on the car’s radio, WAZOBIA people started their own madness. I no wan even hear wetin them dey talk, as Ugochukwu diverted the car from the major road.
And took the jump up and down road that led to my yard, na first plan as Honourable be that sef. To fix the road, the road to enter my yard was blocked by a car and a man fixing it.
Ugochukwu horned at the man and he pretended that his deaf or deformed, Ugochukwu peep.
Ugochukwu: idiot mumu! you no go carry that scrap for head commot from road he shout at the man
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