Oniobong wasn’t pleased at all, chaii.. Twelve don pass oh, her face was just looking like girls are not smiling. I held onto the carton of indomie giving her my Romeo smile and making sure I blocked the way, Nigeria girls can do somehow ehnn…
Oniobong: na the twelve you say my come be this?
Me: no vex na, I go buy something.
Oniobong: you keep me for outside, chaii.. I don suffer.
Me: that person dey mad? babe you look so sweet and take away.
Oniobong: you no try oh.
Me: I swear, your beauty set my soul on fire.
Oniobong: commot there smiling small small
Me: you carry my destiny for back.
I swear the girl yansh big , I hope this match go go well with this Calabar babe. I have heard so much about their magical prowess on bed, Oniobong started laughing.
Oniobong: who spoil you like this no go see better thing.
Me: see ehnn.. I love you oh, ever since I set my eyes on you, I nodey think like small boy again, I just mature.
Oniobong: shift jare, my see person smiling with that small thing?
Me: you don see am?
Oniobong: I talk am, bad thing can sweet you ehnn.
Me: make we go inside na, before your boyfriends go rush me to hospital.
She spanked my yansh playfully as I led the way to our flat, I opened the door and she entered.
I close the door and went straight to the kitchen and dropped the carton of indomie, and came back to see her looking around standing sha.. No chair for that parlour, who dey even invite visitor wey go come sit down for chair when bed dey.
Oniobong: this your birthday party na wa oh!
Me: hope say you come with my gift.
Oniobong: na myself I carry come oh!
Me: na em go be my best birthday gift ever, umhh… I place a finger on the floor and put it on my lips then lift my hand up
Oniobong: I pity your girlfriend oh.
Me: she dey for my front na, be my Juliet, I am already your Romeo.
Oniobong: abegi shift, I go go back oh.
Me: no vex na, come inside na.
She followed me as I led her through the passage to my room I shared with my twin brother, I opened the door and she entered.
Me: welcome to the king chambers where the queen is taken to cloud 9.
Oniobong: no be small king chambers oh, who be the queen?
Me: which kind drink you dey like? you like beer and cigarette, or indomie and di-ck?
Oniobong: I think say na king chambers, when em turn restaurant?
Me: I know say na indomie and di-ck you need.
I left the room and rushed out to get her drink and also buy some eggs, and fresh pepper. The one wey dey house don finish, I dialed my twin brother’s number and he picked.
Me: where you dey?
Victory: when you turn brother goal keeper na?
Me: emergency, I wan play El classico na em make I dey ask oh!
Victory: I talk am, if you give person belle your school don end oh.
Me: first answer me where you dey we go discuss that one later..
Victory: I still dey Lizzy their shop.
Me: abeg, just quarantine yourself till evening.
I ended the call because his reply may spoil my mood oh, trust Nigeria guys them go just scam you when you need their help the most. I waka for the tarred road one small girl wey don get yansh waka pass me, I mean small girl wey suppose call me uncle.
She just shake her upcoming waist waka pass me.
Me: wey you?
She turned and looked at me, pointing herself.
Me: yes you, you no see me?
Small girl: see me see wahala oh, okay I see you
Me: and you no greet me?
Small girl: she look me up greet you as in, you be my boyfriend or I sabi you.
Me: see this one oh!
She hissed and walked away, I must handle that her waist show am say she be small pikin. Her head don big na as those mama thank you boys dey touch her sweet in the middle dey make her head big.
I waka reach the shop bought what I wanted to buy and returned, with full speed.
I reach inside house and met Oniobong watching po-rn on my laptop, is good thing I no put password there. I no go struggle too much..
Me: you dey like that kind thing too.
Oniobong: I no be human being, come this boy. Why you no get video wey them nodey fu-ck for inside this laptop?
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