Sam: oga coma.
Me: Sambisa, the f—-r in the forest.
Sam: hmm.. hmm. . Your new hot chick is starting work tomorrow, so when are you starting?
Me: who be my new hot chick? I never see housegirl, if I never employ one, I nogo near office.
Sam: your new sextary, if you like dey f–k this one upadan, I trust Chibaby na 6ft sentence she go give you.
Me: Sambisa, commot for my line *hissed*
Save me Oh Lord from the daughters of Eve
and I’ll become ardent christain, I no even
ask Sambisa make em arrange two hot
holy holy sisters from em church.
Me: hello, Sambisa
Sam: aahhh.. oga coma, why you dey call again, or you lost small memo due to coma?
Me: I no get time for your wahala, Sam. Which church you dey go?
Sambisa: L.W.F.S. ministry.
Me: thank God.
Me: you manage dey go church.
Sam: hmm…never thank am first oohh….
Me: na you sabi, you fit arrange two holy holy sisters from ona church to run my house package, I wan repent.
Sam: I fit arrange two sister M for you.
Me: I no want people where dey bear Mary as name.
Sam: who tell you say sister M na Mary.
Me: so na Mirabel?
Me: oboy, na who na?
Sam: two sister Monkey.. *line death*
Sam, the only option left is to call pastor
Jeremiah, hope he isn’t prophet of doom.
we have beautiful sisters and semi ugly
holy holy sisters, I dialed his number.
Me: good evening, pastor.
Pastor: aahhh… brother Victor, you didn’t attend this past service, why?
Me: am just coming back from the hospital, have been sick.
Pastor: brother say you will never fall into the hands of sickness.
Me: I will never.
Pastor: good, am coming to your house tomorrow.
Me: eehhnn… sir, I need a good sister that will help to keep my house clean, and I will pay for her services.
Pastor: no problem, am coming with one tomorrow.
Me: thank you, sir.
Pastor: you are welcome *called off*
pastor Jeremiah, hope am not going to
be seeing monkey as my house girl in my
dreams to night, what is the full meaning
of L.W.F.S ministry? Hmm.. Sam. Sam.
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