First Lady on her bed-tossing and talking to herself. Chairman hadn’t been home for almost a week now,
First Lady: “Why would a man be this wicked, eh? What have I done wrong to deserve this inhumane treatment?” she hissed.
She picked up her phone and dialed “hubby” on her phone but the subscriber said;
The number you are dialing is not reachable at the moment, please try again later.
She tried it again and it gave quite a different answer,
The number you’re trying is switched off!
Those were the responses she has been receiving for couple of days. She was perturbed of course but she knew he was doing fine- he was avoiding her after that night’s incidence.
“He shouldn’t think he can run away from me. John I know you’d definitely come home once you’re done running!” she hissed and flung her phone on the bed.
Chairman was buttoning his well starched white regalia, Bridget rose up to him. He towered over the bed,
Bridget: “Still stay for one more night now!”
He shook his head,
Chairman: “I need to be home. I have punished your friend for so long! She might be worried now, you know.”
Bridget was sulking,
Bridget: “Forget her. She doesn’t care about you at all!”
He gaped at her,
Chairman: “Don’t say a thing like that!” seeing that he was bent to leave, she tried to kiss him but he didn’t respond,
“Not now, please! I’ve got to go!”
He took his brief case and left. She threw herself on the bed,
Bridget: “I know how to make you come back begging!” her plan was to get pregnant for him by all means. She didn’t mind if her friend would be disappointed or not- she wanted to be a part of his life. She had falling in love with him and wanted to have his child. Having spent days together she had checked that morning to see if the pregnancy test would be positive but to her disappointment it was negative. And wanted one more night for she was few days away from her monthlies.
She picked a phone.
The thought of Henry crept up in her heart,
“Where is the poor boy now? I’ll go to the station to see him”
A call interrupted her thought, she stretched her hand but withdrew,
“Maybe is that useless husband of mine. Why is he calling me after abandoning me for days eh?”
The phone rang twice but didn’t pick but picked up as it rang for the third time and it was Bridget,
“Bri-baby,owfa?”she feigned a sleepy voice.
Bridget: “Babe,owfa na?”
First Lady: “Fine oo! I haven’t seen you for a few days. Where you hide?”
Bridget: “I go workshop for Calabar!”
First Lady: “Wow, nice. You don show?”
Bridget: “Just got back not too long!”
First Lady: “Wetin you carry come for me now?”
Bridget: “When I come see you tomorrow!”
They giggled, Öwfa with your sweet heart? Una don settle?”
First Lady heaved,
First Lady: “My dear, I haven’t seen him for days na oo!”
Bridget: “ah! Since when”
First days: “since that night we last saw!”
Bridget: “Na wa ooo. Men sef!”
First Lady heaved and hissed,
First Lady: “My sister how I go do now?”
The door tweaked opened, it was Chairman, “he just entered!” her face went grimace as he walked up to her and planted a kiss on her lips. She shrugged.
Bridget thinking of ways to make her friend fight with the husband,
Bridget: “Oh really?”
First lady: “Yes!” Chairman left her and entered the bathroom to shower,
Bridget: “Do you know henry is free?”
First Lady: “You’re joking right?” she was getting agitated,
Bridget: ”why would I joke with something like that. I heard it was your husband that ordered for his release!”
First Lady was steaming with anger,
First lady: “Why would he do such a thing without consulting me first!” she ran to the bathroom door and banged on it,
Chairman: “I’ll be right there with you baby. I’ll soon be done. It’s gonna be our best night,baby!”
First lady: “:John! John!!! I’m waiting for you here!”
Bridget could hear her yelling. She had forgotten to put off the phone. She stood by the door waiting.
Henry after so much pleading from the other driver and his passengers. Entered the car and drove away. He was worried,
Henry: “what would I tell Prof? My first day and I have already damaged the bumper?” And this Grammarian man (Prof) will start speaking his heavy grammar again! Mtcccheeww… he hissed.
Tears gathered in his eyes. He tried the number of the mechanic he used to take Chairman’s car to; it rang and he didn’t pick. He tried it again and it was the same response. Angrily he dropped the phone in his pocket. His passengers tried comforted him but it didn’t kill the fears he had. After driving for close to twenty minutes, his phone he quickly brought it out thinking it was the mechanic but it was Shola,
Henry: “Hi dear,”he sounded cold.
Shola: “where are you?”
Henry: “On my way back!”
Shola: “ Nice. How did it go?”
As he wanted to reply the passengers called upon his attention and they were face to face with Road Safety Officers.
Henry: “Oh my God!”he dropped the call briskly.
One of the officers directed him to park; he didn’t have a choice. A passenger yelled, “He done be!”
The officer came closer and told him to come out, the officer asked for his papers and he gave him,
“Please sir, I was just carried away! I am a law abiding citizen!”
The officer ignored him as he wrote on his papers, two more officers joined them, “what did he do?”one of them asked,
Officer: “He was on a call while driving and didn’t have his seat belt on!”
The other said, “That’s good. Na to carry am go office na!”
Henry was pleading with them. He saw one that looked like someone from the north and tried speaking Hausa to him but he ignored him.
The officers saw another car shortly after he wasn’t wearing a seat belt. The officer beckoned on him to come down but he refused, the man was fat, he looked stoned,
Fat man: “Come and meet me!” the officer nodded and went to his bonnet and scribbled down something on a paper and handed it to the man, “what’s this?” he hissed and threw it away, “follow you to where?” he hissed, “You’re mad!”
Henry and others stood watching the drama; he had forgotten his own problem.
Officer: “You weren’t putting on the seat belt and that’s an offence!”
The other officer chimed, “You’ve to follow us and pay the fine!”
Fat Man: “una papa! I didn’t put seat belt, is it your life,eh? Is it? Do you know if I want to die?”
The man screamed.
One of the passengers in Henry’s car said, “O boy,mad men plenty ooo!”
The Road Safety Officers were bemused,
Fat Man: “Shey una wan carry me go office maik una come enter na!”
As one of the officers attempted to enter the car, the man wound up,ignited the engine and sped off attempted to knock the officers off but they fled from the road.
Fat Man: “Idiots!” he cursed.
With anger the officers faced Henry and other offenders after much pleading they collected seven thousand from Henry. When they released Henry, it dawned on him that he was in serious trouble. He was left with a thousand naira.
Prof was going to kill him, he had damaged his bumper and there was no return. He brought out his phone and dialed a number.
Henry: Hello Prof! This is Henry, your new employee
Prof: Hi Henry! No more gugugaga. How has your day been so far?
Henry: Fine Prof but…
Prof cuts in..
Prof: Please take it easy with my car. Do not bash it. You know Nigerian Road is in a state of calamity, I mean a state of Anomy. Make sure you are not driving the road in a state of mercapadance. Because it will be satonic, it will be lukuberious if…
Henry ended the call with annoyance ….
Henry: Chai, this stupid man will use grammar finish me today!
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