MR HENRY, THE CAPTAIN NIGERIA – Hilarious! … (18+) … Part 13



Henry had gotten to the gate of the park when he decided that he would go back and plead with Prof maybe he would reconsider,
Henry: “I’ll go and plead with him. He might just have a change of heart,” he turned and headed to the office. Steps away from the office he heard a voice blare. It was a male voice from the radio Prof was listening to. It was the news about a twin bomb blast that had rocked a city in the north. Henry shook his head and whispered,
Henry: “these guys! When would they ever stop?” he said to himself.
Prof had switched to reading a newspaper,
Prof: “Who is that?” he asked, he didn’t know allow Henry to talk when he added, “come in!”
as Henry entered he heard Prof ranting PHCN (NEPA) had taken light. Prof called on Swagger to put on the plant (Generator). Swagger carried out the order, the obvious sound of the Generator disturbed the peaceful environs.
Prof:” Haaaa! NEPA. What a Country, Nigeria? Hmm.. I shake my head seriously for this country. It is progressing retrrogressively, ” he coughed and added, “one day, the trumpet will sound, the whole world will go for Judgment, Only Nigeria will not hear because of Generator Sound!” He lamented
“Who is this I am seeing?” Henry took steps back “a ghost or flesh and blood?” Henry stood with his hands behind and lowered his head, Prof lowered his glasses too, “didn’t I just bade thee farewell? Why are you doing in my niche, I mean in my domicile. After I have shown you the portcullis?”
Henry wasn’t in the mood for his gibberish he was determined to get the job; he knelt down,
Henry: “Sir, I have come to plead with you. I don’t have anywhere else to go to. This is my last opportunity. I am a graduate who have swept the streets of this country with my papers in search for a white collar job but all I have gotten instead is frustration and poverty. I have being a victim of lies and oppression. I worked as a driver with a very rich man but his wife accused me of attempting to force her to bed and the husband sent me behind bars for weeks with torture!” Henry was in tears already.
Prof knew about Chairman and the First Lady, how they’ve been maltreating the masses, his failed promises after sworn in as the “constituted authority”. Prof removed his glasses and stood up from his chair,
“Help me sir! I need this job. It is my last hope! My only as a matter of speaking!”he was crying bitterly.
Prof: “You must have been through hell… he asked. Gentle soul be up on the nadir of your legs. Be up standing please. There’s no need for this hollering. Have your seat” he helped him sit.
“Women! Women!! Women!!! Hmm… When a man dies, God asks the Angels: “Was he married?” if the answer is “Yes”, He says “Take him straight to heaven, he’s already been through hell!” He soliloquized as he remembered a joke shared by his friend at a Beer-Parlour the other night. He knew about First Lady wayward life.
He tapped him on the back, “There’s no need for this wailing,”he returned back to his chair,
“To what do you attribute this quagmire you’ve being thrown into?”
Henry having wiped his tears seemed befuddled,
Henry: “sir?”
Prof: “I mean what do you blame for this stank of impecuniosity you have been swimming in?”
Was that supposed to be an explanation for the first ambiguous statement? Henry thought. He shook his head not knowing what to say, he sighed and shrugged.
“Having listened to you closely your lucency, I mean your limpidness is like a very bold hand writing on the wall- I mean some form of graffiti and I boldly can see your sincerity,” he paused and continued, “ for that singular reason. You have the job!”
Henry didn’t know when he screamed and knelt on the ground thanking him,
Henry: “Thank you sir! I’m so grateful! God bless you!”
Prof: “Young man, there’s no need for the show of athleticism! Follow me!” Prof dragged himself out of the office- he limped.
He had an issue with his left leg according to him that he had fought in the British army in World War II and during one of the battles he was shot in the leg and wasn’t attended to on time so it caused in his words, “Ligaments detriment!”
Drivers and the Agberos greeted Prof as he dragged pass them- he was very popular among them. They stopped close to a Toyota Saloon painted in green and white- the city commercial car colours and brought out the keys,
Prof: “This is one of my favourite machines! Do not put a dent on it. Drive with your medulla-oblongata!”
Henry: “I promise that I’ll take care of it sir, “he said euphoric.
Prof: “Well you don’t need to make promises. It’s mere gibberish to me. You dent it and you wouldn’t see the day light of the next day!” for the first time Prof giggled. It was more of a smirk.
Henry with excitement drove off.

Chairman was lying on the bed ,
Chairman: “Your friend didn’t allow me sleep well last night oo!” he said as she stroked the hairs on his chest,
Bridget: “what did she do,”she smiled.
Chairman: “She said I must sleep with her. Can you imagine? I slept half way into the night in the bathroom. She practically chased me about.”
Bridget: “Maybe she was in her heat period!” she laughed and kissed him. She joined in the laughter.
Chairman: “Did you get the alert?”
Bridget she sat up sulking,
Bridget: “Yes but Chairman is that the best you can do?”
Chairman: “Sorry, my love! You know this recession I can’t spend anyhow we are been monitored!” he tried to touch her but she shrugged,
Bridget: “Just leave me!” she jumped out of the bed and straightened the skimpy gown and picked her things Chairman charged at her.
Chairman: “Ah,ah! Sorry na, my princess!” he pecked her but she shrugged, “Please now! Okay, I’ll send the money soon!”
Bridget: “Soon? That’s there no time! I want specific time. As a matter of fact this night,”she turned her back,
Chairman: “ah, ah! Please now. Twenty million this night. Please baby. I’ll send ten.”
Bridget folding her arms,
Bridget: “I’m waiting!” he quickly dashed to his phone and did mobile transfer. Her phone blared . She stared into it and smiled, and rushed at Chairman,
“Thanks baby! I promise you the best treat ever!”
She smothered him with kisses savagely as he kept mumbling,
Chairman: “Take it easy ooo! You know age isn’t on my side again!” she pushed him to the bed,
Bridget giggling,
Bridget: “I’d give you a treat no one has ever given you!”
She rushed to the switch and put off the light.
Shola and Bola were in her shop having a chat,
Shola: “My baby’s release was a miracle oo!”
Bola: “My dear you can say that again. I was glad when I heard he was out!”
Bola never told her that she had pressurized Chairman into it as a matter of fact, Shola didn’t know she was dating him. It was her top secret.
“where’s he?”
Shola: “He went for job hunting,”she didn’t want to tell her friend that Henry had gone to look for a job as a park driver. Henry wasn’t ashamed of if but she felt somehow about it.
Bola: “we can go and talk to Chairman he could give his job back!”
Shola shook her head,
Shola: “I dare not mention that to him oo!”they laughed, “he’d chop my head off!”
Two customers came in and Shola excused herself and attended to them. Bola brought out her phone and started browsing on it.
Henry was stuck in a hold up. It was evening and he had made enough. The day had been so good. He blared a song from the speakers of the car. There were passengers in the car. They were busy chattering while Henry kept to himself only giggling at some funny comments. He had made close to eight thousand and his return was four thousand naira so he had four thousand to himself. He had plans of getting Shola a gift-maybe a bottle of a very good wine. He smiled at the idea. As the green light appeared, cars were on the move and out of the blue he had a loud sound- it was the sound of car being bashed,
“Jesus!” a passenger screamed from his car.
It was his car that was bashed, he came out and looked the bumper. It had been damaged. The driver who was at fault kept saying, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”
Everything in his body gave way as the voice of Prof echoed, “You dent it and you wouldn’t see the day light of the next day!”
He felt weak


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