I gasped and fred my hands from his.
What’s he talking about?
“Roxanne” he called tenderly and tried holding my hands again, but I resisted.
“Listen to me, you have to do this. This is our only chance, Roxanne. Don’t you understand?”
I shook my head and moved backwards a bit.
Does he really expect me to just…kill Damon? To kill someone?
But, my mum…she’ll finally be free. We’re all going to be free.
What if this is really my only chance?
I stood in front of the mirror, staring down at the little bottle on the table in front of me.
Damon just sent for me in his room and it was obvious what he was bound to do.
Nicklaus words replayed in my head:
You can stop him and be free from him. We’ll all be free; me, you, your mother – we’ll all have a peaceful life
I bent my head, stupefied with fear.
I have to do this. Damon has brought me nothing but pains.
And I don’t know what he’s bound to do to me in the future.
I took up the bottle and opened It. The content was black and had a fowl smell.
I shivered as I brought it close to my lips, staring at myself In the mirror.
It came close to my lips and was about pouring in, when suddenly, I paused.
I paused with the bottle still close to my lips and at that moment, I got to realise something- I couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t kill Damon.
Despite the pains he’s made me go through, I still couldn’t bring myself to get rid of him.
I don’t know; I can’t explain it. But, I just didn’t want him dead.
I kept the bottle back on the table and wept. What is wrong with me?
I was throwing my only chance of survival away – all for a guy who doesn’t care about my feelings.
What am I doing?
Tears dripped down my cheeks to the table.
Why was I making such sacrifice for him? Isn’t this what Miss Margaret had called True Love?
Yes; true love that involved huge sacrifice.
What sacrifice could be greater than this?
Sacrificing my happiness, my mum’s safety, everything – just for him – to save his life.
What greater sacrifice could there be?
But how? Why?
Could I possibly be in love with him?
I mean, all those times he was around me, touched me…I can’t explain it, but they felt divine and somehow, I just didn’t want him dead.
At least, not by my own hand.
I took the bottle and rushed into the toilet.
My heart beat rapidly as I opened it and made it face the toilet seat.
I was really throwing this opportunity away. Was I ready for it?
I cogitated for a while and finally flushed it down the toilet.
Oh, Roxanne! I really did it. I couldn’t kill Damon.
But why? What does he mean to me?
How could I make such sacrifice for him?
If truly what Miss Margaret had said existed, then, how did I fall in love with Damon?
I heard the door of my room open and my heart pounded.
I gasped and quickly wiped my face.
Oh, my! It must be Damon.
I hid the empty bottle and making doubly sure there were no more tears on my face, I took in a deep breath and left the toilet, returning to the bedroom.
I got in and found him leaning on the door.
my whole systems were shaking; but I needed to control my anxiety. I couldn’t let him suspect a thing.
So, I decided to think about something else so he doesn’t read my thoughts.
“What were you doing?” He asked calmly, touching the lower part of his lips with his thumb.
“Sorry I was…making use of the toilet” I replied, trying as much as possible not to think about the incidence.
He left the door and started ambling towards me but tried not to flinch.
He stood in front of me and brushed my hair behind my ear.
His sparkling eyes were staring into mine.
How did I fall in love with this guy? I couldn’t believe it.
“Why were you crying?” He asked and my heart skipped.
Oh, no! Was it that obvious?
I thought I dried it all completely.
I looked at him and lowered my gaze to the floor.
“I’m…I” I paused and sniffed.
“I’m sorry” I finally added, even if it made no sense.
“I just miss my mum”.
He didn’t say a word for a while and slowly, he brought his hand down from my hair and backed me.
He stayed that way for a while and it made me wonder what he could probably be thinking.
“Why’re you blocking your thoughts?” He suddenly asked, still backing me.
I heard a loud bang in my head as conniption gripped me.
Oh, mercies! How did he know?
He turned and faced me again, looking directly into my eyes.
“What are you trying to hide from me?” He asked and my lips shook helplessly, but couldn’t say a word.
I still tried all I could not to think about it so he doesn’t get to read it.
Mercies please, help me.
If he finds out I tried to poison him, I’d be dead.
He stared at me for a long while and I don’t know what happened, but he just turned around and walked away.
I sat soberly at the back seat as the car drove me to school.
I felt so scared and unsecured.
I Didn’t get to see Damon again after he left my room in that manner.
And Nicklaus…how’s he gonna take the news?
I still can’t believe I couldn’t kill Damon. And when he had stared into my eyes for that long last night, the whole thing seemed to become clear to me.
But could there be real?
How can I love someone who doesn’t feel the same way towards me?
Someone that cold hearted?
How did it happen?
The driver pulled over in front of the school building and I blerily came out of the car.
So many thoughts kept running through my mind that I couldn’t even notice the students who were talking about me.
I approached the classroom and just as if he was waiting for me, I met Nicklaus by the entrance.
But he kind of looked different – angry.
“H-hi” I said with a little crack in my voice – so unusual.
He was always the first to greet me each time we met.
“What happened, Roxanne? You didn’t do it” he growled, trying not to sound loud.
Hold on; how did he get to know under such short notice?
“Talk to me, Roxanne.”
“I’m sorry. I…I couldn’t do it” I replied nervously.
He scoffed and sank his fingers into his hair.
“And where’s the portion? Where’s it?” He looked at me and asked and I bent my head.
“I flushed it down the toilet”
Immediately, I saw a spark in his eyes and he grabbed me with both arms and slammed me hard against the wall.
“Nicklaus!” I gasped.
The few students around also shrieked.
“What the f**k did you just say?” He yelled into my face, still pinning me to the wall.
His fingers were boring into my skin and hurt as hell.
“Nicklaus stop it…”
“Do you know what it took me to make that portion? Do you know what I had to go through in producing it? It was a rare chance Roxanne. How dare you waste it like a piece of trash?”
I was shocked beyond imagination as tears started forming up in my eyes.
“He means nothing to you! All he’s ever caused you is pains; yet, you couldn’t kill him! Are you that stupid! Tell me, Roxanne!” He snarled.
His fingers were badly hurting me and I could feel blood already rushing out from my arm.
I looked at him in fear, now seeing a monster in him.
What has gotten into him?
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