HEART DESIRE … (18+) … Part 17




***I stood by the window as the fresh air freely made it’s way in as I felt like I’d been locked up in the room my whole life loosing me in thoughts, I thought of how my marriage life would be. I knew I was supposed to be happy on my wedding day but I was having regrets on the decision I had made, I had broken another woman’s home just so I could get the good life but that didn’t matter anymore.

I hadn’t none Justin for a long period of time but there was something about him that I couldn’t put my finger on. My heart palpitated each time I caught him stealing glances at me and he tried picking conversations with me when Blessings and Thomas stepped aside, he offered for us to meet the following day and I gladly accepted.

What I felt for Justin is what I only felt with my junior secondary school lover who I never want to talk about because he disappointed me in the worst way ever and left my heart shuttered, he is responsible for who I am today and to say I loathe him is an understatement but I’m glad we’ve never crossed paths. After the passionate kiss Justin and I shared I felt like I was on top of the world exactly what a woman in love feels, right? Blessings had to pop up our little bubble feeling me washed with embarrassment and I didn’t know how I was going to face her but one I thing I knew was that she wasn’t going to utter a single word to anyone about what she saw but I was panicking and Justin just held me then perked my forehead

Justin: don’t worry, I’ve got this

Me: b…but…she

Justin: nothing will go wrong, the wedding will go on just fine

I wasn’t even worried if the wedding would push through

Me: it’s not the wedding I’m worried about

He looked at me confused

Justin: stay safe

He attempted to walk out but I stopped him

Me: I… don’t……. I can’t…..

We heard footsteps approaching and he walked out

“That’s it, I finally get to marry Mwelwa”

I said to myself as I sank to the floor and I wondered why I was choosing someone I recently met over someone I was getting married to




We were in church and the priest did the preaching but I wasn’t paying attention, I could see Blessings from the corner of my eye shooting me death stares and my mind was elsewhere. It was my turn to say the wedding vows and I was caught off guard, I opened my mouth but no words came out when I spotted Justin seated next to Thomas. I was brought back to reality when I heard people whispering among themselves then I drew in a deep breath and did what I supposed to do, I married Mwelwa…..





Only six months passed since I was tied to Mwelwa and I wished I had listened to what Blessings told me about being patient and waiting for the right partner. I had my mother in law breathing under my neck to bare her son a male child, she’d bring me some certain herbs to drink but never did I bother using them only when she asked me to drink them in her presence, I was on contraceptives without Mwelwa’s knowledge since bearing him a child was the last thing I needed. I was catching up on my favourite tv series while Jane did her homework when a call came through, I smiled involuntarily when I saw that it was Justin and i answered excitedly

Me: my knight in shining armor

Justin: your majesty

I giggled

Justin: hey, I’m coming over to your house

Me: no, you can’t do that

Justin: and why not? You’re my woman

Me: yeah but……you still can’t come….what if he finds us?

Justin: I think I should just kidnap you already

Me: no you wouldn’t

Justin: trust me I would if I wanted to but you’re too beautiful to go through all that

I blushed

Justin: there’s something important I want to speak to you concerning us

Me: should I be worried?

Justin: I think you should, I’ll pick you up at the mall later this afternoon

He sounded serious

Me: ummm…..okay

He dropped the call just like that which I found awkward because he always told me that he loved me before we ended our conversations

“What if he’s calling things off with me? What if he finds me unattractive now?”

Where the kind of questions I asked myself and the thought of being apart from him was surely going to kill me. I quickly went to change into comfortable clothes and grabbed my phone letting my hair loose

“Bana Ben I’m going please take care of the house and ensure that Jane is safe”

Bana Ben was our house help

“But lunch is almost served madam”

“I’m not hungry”

“But just a few minutes ago you said you couldn’t wait for me to finish cooking so……..”

“I said I’m not hungry, now stop being clumsy and get back to work”

“Yes madam”

She almost kneeled but I gave her a disapproving look

“You can get started with supper in case Bashi Jane gets home before me”

“Yes madam”

She is a few years older than me but she shows me so much respect which I really appreciate. I got a taxi to the mall and tried waiting for the time he’d suggested but my anxiety got the best of me and I called him telling him that I’d long being at the mall. A black car drove by some time later and he was the one, I went in and the drive was filled with silence and it just freaked me out then he finally spoke

Justin: why are you quiet?

Me: I’m not

Justin: I know you

That was all that was said until we got to his house, I was expecting to be led inside but he took me to the garden instead and it was beautiful, he starred at me for quite some time until I got uncomfortable and he chuckled lightly while shaking his head then he maintained a straight face again

Justin: how far are you willing to take our relationship?

Me: I don’t understand

Justin: I’ll get straight to the point you know that I love you right?

I nodded

Justin: Veronica, I can’t bear the fact that you’re with someone else, that you’re with someone else, that you belong to him, we weren’t supposed to start this whole thing but you’re my heart desire and there’s nothing anyone can do about it

Me: I thought you were going to leave me

Justin: one thing I’d never do, your mine forever

He got his guitar and played it while singing Ed Sheeran’s “Perfect”, I sang along and I was in tears when he finished, he had a great voice and later sang Westlife’s ” that’s where you find love” the environment was just lovely and I laid on his chest listening to his heartbeat.

I lost track of time and he drove me home, it was around 8pm and I prayed that Mwelwa hadn’t returned it but I knew it was impossible because he was always home before supper time. I kissed Justin before I rushed to the house and found Bana Ben in the living room watching TV, I made signs asking her if Mwelwa was back but she just smiled at me like a retard exposing her teeth until I heard a voice speak

“Where are you coming from?”

I froze…

To be continued…


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