FIX ME – Episode 9







“You don’t need to understand anything.Ana,you ain’t related to me and even if you are,your opinion doesn’t matter in my life so stop crossing your boundaries”I warned and walked away.

I found Sophia in the dining room already eating dinner.
For a moment,I just stood by the door, watching her as she ate.
Everything about her fascinates me to the core.
The way she handles the cutleries….the way her throat flexes as she swallows.
“Good evening”She greeted without staring at me.
“Evening…how was your day?”
“Fine,I guess”She snapped.
“I got you something”I announced stretching the bouquet to her.
She stared at me then at the flowers as if contemplating whether to accept it or not.
“I hate flowers”She replied.
That kinda hurts.
I know she is lying.
She doesn’t want me giving her flowers.
“If she hates flowers,you can give them to Marcella.”Ana said walking into the dining room.
What’s her fvcking problem?
I’m trying to get along with my wife and Ana’s constant reminder of Marcella would do no good to it.
“Ana,from now on,my wife and I would eat alone please”
Her brows creased.”What? I’m not welcomed to eat with you anymore because of your new wife”She asked, angrily.
“Leave!”I ordered.
She threw Sophia a death stare and walked off.
“Great!Now,some little girl has it in for me because of you”
“I’m sorry about that”I apologized, sitting opposite to her.
“Maybe you should have settled things properly with this Marcella chick before you dragged me into your life”
“I did”
I fvcking did.
If I had knew it would be hard to cut her off from my life…. I wouldn’t have gotten involved with her in the first place.
She calls me everyday… matter how much I ignored those calls….she is relentless.
I mean…all my subs know the rules.
When one of us gets tired of each other,we go our separate ways.
I got tired of her first but then she wanted more.
She wanted hearts and flowers.
Back then,I wasn’t interested to be that kind of guy unlike now.
She was nice to be with.
She was funny.
But I still quake when she touches me.
I never had the urge to please her.
She doesn’t devour my nights and days like Sophia does.
I stared at the flowers,sadly.
I thought of the times I spent browsing and writing down the perfect note.
She didn’t even accept it.
Before the wedding, I thought all it would take for Sophia to like me was to see my house and cars and the good things I could offer her.
But now it would proving harder than I thought.
“I can make you happy,Sophia.Just give me that chance.Please stop fighting me”I pleaded placing my hand on hers.
She took her hand away.
What does this woman wants?
What does she likes to do?


Three days later…

Damien screams every night.
His problem is pretty serious.
I was curious.
I was curious to know what happened to his parents.
I was curious to know what his nightmares are about.
But I didn’t want to ask him.
I didn’t want him to think I was interested in him.
I wish Juanita would just tell me.
I know she must be aware that her boss has issues.
I wonder how Ana is her daughter.
The old woman is nice but her daughter is annoying.
I just have to put up with her for a few days.
“Knock knock”
It was evening.
I smiled knowing it was Juanita at my door.
I opened up.
“Mr O’Connell asked me to show you something”She said.
I frowned.
What now?
She led me up the stairs to another floor in the mansion.
Then she opened the door for me.
This was… I don’t even know what to say.
It was like my very own art studio.
Like the one I always see on TV.
All the equipment I had been lacking was right here.
I ran my hand through the drawing board….the canvas…the brushes thinking about all the things I could paint with this.
Damien really had this room constructed for me?
I always thought men weren’t interested in their women’s career.
Raul wasn’t interested…he had told me once that I should find something better to do.
Designing this room for me was so thoughtful of Damien.


“Bro, how did you get all these money?”My brother,Stephano asked on seeing me with different bundles of money.
“I have my ways.We’re leaving Brazil soon”
“I want us to start all over again with my woman”
My friend introduced me to gambling.
The first two times,I lost.
But now, I’ve learned how to cheat and I’m winning immensely.
In a few days time…. Sophia and I are starting anew.


She likes it!
I had told Juanita to show her the place instead of me because she might not quite appreciate it if I’m around her.
I grinned.
I’m not so bad at doing good after all.
I had thought about opening an art gallery for her but I know she wouldn’t accept it so I thought I should stick to this for now.
I watched her using the equipments already.
She sat on a stool,her black hair pulled back and a drop of blue paint on her nose.
She was working on a golden field of sunflowers.
She held the brush between her fingertips,a mixture of yellow and white paint on the tip.
She’s quite good at this.
Extremely good.
I’m not an art aficionado but I admire her artworks.
I have even had my people purchase some from her in the local market.
The one she painted of herself was still my favorite.
It was hung on my bedroom and I had wanked to it a couple of times.
It was so lively…so beautiful and sexy.
It captured the way I felt about her perfectly.
It wasn’t complicated, traumatized and sad as I was.
It illustrated my view of her,the exact way I stared at her every single day.
As if sensing my presence,she turned around to face me.
“Em…I was going to thank you later for this. I really appreciate it.The place is nice”
I nodded.”I’m glad you like it.Do you like doing anything more aside painting?”
“If I tell you what I like…you’ll start making all of it come through?”
“Well,I just think we should know more about each other”
“Since we should know more about each other,why don’t you tell me about your parents?”
I swallowed, discreetly.”I told you before, they’re both gone.”
“What happened to them?”
“They were shot on the same day”
“Oh my God….by who?”
She’s giving me that look of pity.
And I hate that look.
But I want to open up to her.
She’s my wife after all.
She’s someone whom I believe could help me.
But I’m recalling the bullets piercing into both of my parents’ heads.
And their blood…
Shvt I really hate talking about this.
“I’m sorry, I’ve got things to do”And then, I left the art room.

“I don’t know… isn’t there any drugs that can help me,she probably still hears me screaming at night. I couldn’t confide in her.The last thing I want is for her to see me as a psychopath”I said to James, frustratedly.
“I’ve told you times without numbers,Damien.Your fears are in your head.You’ve got trust issues too.Take me for example,I can’t touch you because we both know that wouldn’t be okay with you.I’m your doctor but you don’t trust me enough.You feel if your father’s best friend can take his life…you don’t have any friends and you think everyone around you is capable of harming you too.Life isn’t like that,Damien.They’re bad people and they’re good people…not everyone wants to hurt you.”

When I got home that night, I kept repeating James’ words like a mantra.
Not everyone wants to hurt me.
Not everyone wants to hurt me.
I can really be okay someday.
I walked up to the head of my body guards….Max.
“Max,touch me”I said stretching my hand.
He stared at me quite unsure.
All my employees know about my no touching rule.
They don’t know the reason though except Juanita,Ana and Pedro.
But I want to try getting used to people’s touches.
He held my hand and I backed off instantly.
James is wrong!
If Wyatt could murder my parents then Max could possibly try to kill me someday.
“Are you alright,sir?”He asked.
“I.. I’m fine”
I’m not.
I’m sweaty and frightened.
I hurriedly darted to my bedroom on wobbly legs.
My whole body is quivering by the time I get there.
I pulled up my drawer forcefully.
All the syringes fell on the floor.
I picked up one of them and hurriedly got it ready.
“Ahh!”I groaned as I pierced it into my skin.
I’m tired of living like this.
I wish I didn’t have this constant panick attacks.
This is always one of the times I wished I died too.
Maybe I shouldn’t have jumped through the window.
I would have allowed Wyatt killed me too.
It hurts to live like this.


Raul said I didn’t need to pack any clothes.
That might make someone notice me.
I had gone through the house finally and there was a gate at the back.
The guards hardly parade through that place unlike the front door.
That would be my escape route.
Tonight, I’m leaving with Raul.
I recalled the art room and all the paintings I had made,I can’t believe I would miss that place in just a short period of time.
I walked out of my bedroom and quietly shut my door in case Damien was home already.
His bedroom was directly opposite to mine.
My footsteps halted hearing that pained voice.
What’s going on with him?
It’s none of my business.
I should go now.
But I found myself looking through the peephole.
Syringes are scattered everywhere and he’s injecting himself.
Is he sick?
It shouldn’t be my concern but it suddenly is.
He looked so sad and hurt.

He said his parents were shot….and it seem like he was at a tender age when that happened.
Does it have anything to do with this?
He screams for help every night.
What should I do?
I’m supposed to leave now not to be concerned about him.
He will be fine.
I looked away and straighten up to leave…. I thought about everything I had enjoyed in my college days…all that was because of him.
One fact that I couldn’t ignore was that I would’ve been a dropout if he hadn’t offered to help me through my dad.
I was curious to know why?
I was curious to know why this man was so broken.
I recalled the art room again.
I was curious to know why this broken man wants me.

But Raul is waiting for me.



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