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CHAPTER 9: PREGNANT.
Since we got back from the Bahamas,I haven’t been feeling well.
I have this odd cravings… I feel extremely weak in the mornings. I wasn’t the lazy type but of recent,I get tired easily and I’m picky over the food I eat.
I stared at Damien, weakly as he knotted his tie.
I love doing that for him but right now,I feel too tired.
He sat on the bed and tenderly brushed some strands of my hair out of my face.
“I hate seeing you sick,Princesa.Are you sure we don’t need to call the doctor?”
“No, I feel better than yesterday… I’ll be fine before you know it”I assured.
The main reason why I didn’t want him to call the doctor because I was feeling pretty scared right now.
I might be pregnant.
I had missed my periods.
I was still trying to assure myself that me missing my periods might be due to stress…we’d had great fun at the Bahamas.
Deep down,I wanted to be pregnant… I wanted to carry Damien’s child.
But he doesn’t want children and I had originally planned on taking time to convince him about having kids.
Suddenly telling him that he’s going to be a father would just make him mad.
I was so conflicted!
Still,I didn’t want to conceive now.
“Call me if you need anything, okay?”
He kissed me and then he left.
“Oh, Sophia,dear,you still don’t look so good”Juanita said when I walked into the kitchen later that day.
“I think you should see the doctor, know what the problem is so that you can starting taking the right medication”She insisted.
Maybe I should tell her the symptoms…it might just be an illness.
“Juanita,I keep throwing up, there’s this morning sickness and cravings..and I’m always feeling fatigued… I’ve been really sleeping a lot…what do you think might be the problem?”
Juanita moved closer to me.
“Did you miss your periods?”She asked, seriously.
I slowly nodded.
“Oh my God! It’s highly possible that you are pregnant!”She exclaimed, happily.
“Sophia,why don’t you look happy?This is good news”
If only she knew that my husband doesn’t want kids.
“I just want to confirm it first,I don’t want to get my hopes up for nothing”
“Well,you could get a pregnancy kit first to confirm”She suggested.
“I need to head to the grocery store now, I’m so happy, Sophia and I hope I won’t be disappointed”She said and hurried off.
A part of me feels happy.
If only Damien will be happy about this too.
I turned around and saw Ana walking into the kitchen.
We haven’t really talked since that incident.
“Hey, I’ve been meaning to talk to you and apologize, I’m really sorry for what I did”
I grimaced,she still helped to fix things between Damien and I at the end but could I really trust her again.
What if she’s still conniving with Marcella?
“I know it’ll be hard to rekindle our friendship again but I’m no longer friends with Marcella…I won’t ever interfere in your marriage again, I’m so sorry”
I know it might take time to trust her or even be close to her again but if Damien could forgive me,then who am I not to forgive her.
“It’s fine,Ana.”I forced a smile out of me.
I had another important issue to attend to.
I had sent for the pregnancy kit but even after two hours,I was still afraid to use it.
Finally summoning enough courage,I followed the procedures and just few minutes later,my breath caught in my throat.
It confirmed that I am pregnant.
I should be over the moon with joy right now.
I’ve always wanted a child but thinking of how Damien would feel about it had me worried.
Damien came back home at noon.
Could this day get any worse?
I hadn’t even prepared myself to tell him yet.
But I had to.
“Nenem, your condition got me really worried at work and I couldn’t focus… I had to come home to make sure that you’re okay,how are you feeling?”He asked walking into room and coming over to sit beside me.
I stared at him.
Okay…this is it.
“Well… I don’t think I’m sick… maybe my body was trying to get used to forming something else”
Confusion etched on his forehead.
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m pregnant”I confessed.
He burst into laughter.
“You’re joking, right?”
I sighed, heavily.”I’m not… I’m pregnant and I’m thinking of visiting the doctor tomorrow so that I can know what I need….”
“Wait…I still can’t understand this sh*t.Pregnant? You’re on the pills”
I winced.”I kind of forgot to take the pills for some days”
“WHAT?!”He exclaimed and stood up.
Oh boy…now he’s really pissed.
“And you didn’t forget to tell me not to make love to you?You did this purposely, didn’t you? I told you I don’t want kids!”He thundered.
“Damien, I understand your fears,I really do but have a open mind in this, let’s just have this baby and you’ll see that you would want more kids”
He shook his head.
“You’re so impossible…. How could you get yourself pregnant?”
Now I’m getting angry.
“I didn’t get myself pregnant if you ask me…one cocky insatiable man did”I slammed back.
“Cocky? I told you of one little thing I didn’t want and boom…you had to make it come through.”
“Little?This isn’t little,Damien. I want kids.”
“That’s why you got pregnant, right? You were pretty selfish,you know.Damn it!What part of I don’t want kids you didn’t understand?”
“Every part of it!”I yelled.
We stood there fuming at each other and then he headed for the door.
I picked up the pillow to throw it at him but it slammed against the wall.
I thought I would be crying that he didn’t want something I desperately wanted.
Instead,I feel too angry to cry.
Why can’t he just give Parenthood a chance.
She’s fvcking pregnant.
I specifically told her that I didn’t want a child.
Not only because of my insecurities… I know I’ll be a shtty father.
Her attention would also be divided.
She’s already pregnant and now I’m left with being just angry.
Maybe I’m putting too much different thoughts into this.
I needed someone to talk to.
I called James.
“Are you on seat?”
“No.I’m cheering my son… it’s his team’s football game today”
I know James has four kids,his first son is in highschool.
I frowned.”Do you really need to be there?”
“I can’t stand Aiden when he’s mad at me and he definitely gets pissed if I miss any of his games… I can’t afford that…if you really need to talk…come over here… I’ll text you the address, it’s actually fun,you know”He coaxed.
What choice do I have?
It’s not like I can tell anyone else about how I feel about this sht.
Sophia doesn’t even understand.
Few minutes later,I walked into a football court.
James sighted me and waved drawing my attention to where he was seated.
I slowly sat beside him.
“GO AIDEN!”He suddenly screamed.
“Jesus!You screamed the fvck of me!”I snapped.
“C’mon, cheering your kids on is priceless to them… I’m even giving you a tip…you know, when you have your own children soon”He said and turned to face the game.
He wants me to have children too?
The game ended.
Aiden’s team won.
He raced over to his father.
I stared at him intently,he looks so much like James and their resemblance is quite adorable.
I suddenly pictured someone looking like me…like a smaller version of me.
“Dad,did you see how many points I won?”He asked, excitedly and James patted his body with a towel.
“I did,son.You are a star”James replied.”This is my friend,Damien O’Connell”
He smiled at me.
“Nice to meet you,sir”
“Likewise, so you want to be a footballer?”
“Yeah…just like Messi or Christiano…those guys are great,man.”
James handed him a bottle of water.
“Are you ready to go now?”He asked.
“Coach wants to meet us up for a few instructions”Aiden replied.
“Okay then,meet me at the car”
“Got it,dad”With that,he ran back to his team.
It would be nice to have someone call me dad.
Am I suddenly putting the idea of having kids into consideration?
James and I headed towards the parking lot.
“So what’s up?”
“Sophia is pregnant”
“Wow!Congratulations, Damien,we have to celebrate”He said, excitedly and then stared at me, weirdly.
“Why don’t you seem enthusiastic about this?”
“I just don’t how to feel. I never wanted kids.”
He stopped walking and turned to face me.
“Damien,you should over the moon with joy, you’re going to be a father… that’s a blessing”
“What about my touch issues?”
“It’s your child,your blood… It’ll be more than okay.”
“I don’t know if I’ll be a good father”I grumbled.
“C’mon… there’s no school called ‘How to be a good father academy’…when your child is born, you’ll get the hang of it.”He assured.
Okay….my last question
“What about you know….she’ll always be taking care of the child and I’ll be neglected”
James burst into laughter.
“Cut it out, it’s not funny”
“Don’t tell me you’re jealous of your own kid already?Damien,you have no idea how much joy having kids would give you.There are people out there who wants kids but they can’t have,not because they don’t want to but because of one problem or the other.We that can have should feel grateful…trust me, you won’t feel neglected one bit,even you would want to be around your child every damn second and for your sex life, there is always time to carry out the usual….”
“Shut the fvck up”I laughed.
“So when Sophia told you that she’s pregnant,did you pick her up from the floor and swirl her around in circles…I mean you made her feel special for conceiving your child, right?”
I winced, inwardly.
“I got mad….”
“Oh sh*t! Damien,do you think pregnancy is easy for women?Do you think it’s a piece of cake?They need the most support,love and attention in this part of their lives…so you should be heading home and apologizing now”
I want a kid to look up to me like Aiden does to James.
I want a little boy like me or a little girl like Sophia.
I will try my best to be an ideal parent.
“Thanks,James”I said, gratefully.
“You’re always welcome”
When I got home,I was told that Sophia was in her art room
I slowly walked in to find her painting.
She turned around, glared at me then continued her painting.
I’m slightly relieved that she’s just angry at me.
I’ll rather have her angry then crying.
“Nenem,I bought your favourite snacks”
She slowly stood up and turned around to face me,not knowing how to turn it down.
“I’m sorry,I called you selfish…you aren’t….I was just being unreasonable”
“I’m sorry,I called you cocky. I was just so upset”She apologized too.
“I want the baby, Sophia. I went to see James and I saw him and his son…it suddenly stirred something within me and I wanted a kid too.”
Her face brightened up.
“I’ll go with you to see the doctor tomorrow so that I can do how to take care of my pregnant wife”I moved closer to her.
She was trying not to smile.
“I’m still mad at you”She said,her lips finally curling into a smile.
I snickered.”I know and I’ll give you a lot of petting tonight”
She flung her arms around me.
“I’m so excited to ride through Parenthood with you, Giogio”
“Me too.Thank you for being pregnant with my baby,dolcura”I said, gratefully.
Her smile widened and she kissed me.
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