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CHAPTER 3 AND 4: MELANCHOLY.
I stared into space feeling so numb.
My chest felt so tight and my breathing was labored.
I’m aware of voices around me….a distant buzz….the men making one phone call to the other.
My thoughts turned to the previous day…that morning when every thing was perfect….when I knotted his tie.
Even if I knew you could help me,I didn’t know I would be this happy… I’m telling you the same thing you said to me,princesa.You take me to another level of happiness.And for that,I want to give you the best time of your life on this trip
I never knew the next day would be like this.
I can make you happy, Sophia.Just give me that chance.Please stop fighting me
He had placed his hand on mine then but I took it away.
I wish I hadn’t been nasty towards him when we got married.
Because it’s you, Sophia.It’s like you’re my happy pill…my pain killer.When I stare at you,all the worries of the world melts away… it’s just you
Even if I don’t get to be his happy pills anymore…I just want him to come home.
The eggs don’t like me
I smiled as tears spilled from my eyes recalling when I tried to teach him how to fry an egg and how he had chase me around the dinning room.
My Sophia.I’m trying the best I can.I try to do everything I can to make you happy.I just don’t know if it’s working. I want to see you smile and happy….call me selfish but I want to be the reason you smile randomly during the day and the reason you go to sleep happy
Please,be safe Damien.
Please his life shouldn’t be short.
You’re a wicked,wicked woman
I stared at my bruised wrist.
I love it when you smile, Sophia. I hate seeing your tears and I’ll try not to let any drop from your eyes again…do you like it?
I… I love you
I wrapped my arms around myself and the world falls away from me and reality bleeds into my consciousness.
The creeping emptiness inside expands some more.
Damien is missing.
Damien’s car exploded.
“Sophia…take this”Juanita said sitting beside me.”You haven’t had something tangible all day”
I took the cup of tea from her.
“Thank you”I whispered,my voice hoarsed from tears and the large lump in my throat.
I stared at everyone in the room.
A man had arrived few minutes ago.
Draco….. Damien’s PA.
They all had looks of pain and anxiety.
All of them…Ana,Pedro,Juanita, Max,Lucas, James and Draco.
Damien’s not really alone in this world.
He’s got other people who cares deeply about him.
I wish he would be given the chance to come back and realize this.
From time to time,they all throw sad looks at me,I can’t even offer a reassuring smile… there’s just blankness and growing emptiness within me.
I hear the faint squawk from the big plasma TV.
I can’t bear to see the news item again….Damien O’Connell’s missing…..his handsome face on TV.
Somewhere,I see Max and Lucas talking to the authorities who kept drip-feeding us information but it was all meaningless.
The search has been called off…this much I do know.
It’s just too dark to search for anyone.
And no one knows where he is.
He could be hurt…hungry or worse.
I offered another prayer to God.
Please let Damien be okay.
Please let Damien be okay.
I refuse to think the worst.
Please let the rest of his life not be this short.
Even if we don’t get to be together anymore…. I will Cherish the tender moments that we’ve had.
I just need him alive… he’s been through so much.
James walked up to me and sat beside me.
“It sucks that this is how I finally met you, Sophia”
I stared at him trying to smile but I failed, miserably.
“You could have visited sooner”
“Damien won’t allow that”
“There’s something he hasn’t told you yet and he was scared that you would ask me”
Right now, knowing about that is the least of my concern.
“Don’t worry, he’ll be back to tell you everything himself.Damien is a fighter…. he’s someone who desperately wanted to live like everyone else. I’ve always wanted to thank you, Sophia.You made him feel normal…no one can touch his skin and I hate that he had to live with something like that…but you are an exception and you gave him hope that he might be normal again…Thank you for doing whatever it is that you did to him”
I just stared at him, sadly.
If only he knew that I was no longer an exception.
I can no longer touch him.
“DAMIEN!”I heard James shout and I looked up to see him….to see the man who means everything to me walking into the house.
He was holding his jacket in one hand and he looked heartbreakingly tired.
I slowly stood up.
Juanita walked up to him.
At times like this, what you do to people you love is hug them but everyone is cautious about what to do with Damien…. she was scared of touching his bare skin so she parted his back and hugged her husband.
“Are you okay?”Ana asked.
“Jesus!You almost gave me an heart attack!”James exclaimed patting his shoulders.
“I almost had an heart attack myself…the reporters outside my house were freaking much…I had to wait for them to start leaving”
“What happened?Your car?How did you….why didn’t you call?we were so worried!”Pedro rattled out.
“Long story….I was out of battery by the time I got to town.”
His eyes ran through the room and fell on mine.
I fought against crying…but I couldn’t.
It was tears of joy mixed with tears of grief.
Tears of joy because he was alive and grief because he’s going to throw me out now.
He slowly walked up to me probably to ask me what I’m still doing in his house.
“Hi”He began, awkwardly.
I sniffed..”Are you hurt?”
“No”He replied, calmly.
I nodded and stared at the floor.
I just stood there, weeping.
I can’t even beg him to forgive me because he won’t.
He surprised me by pulling me into his arms.
I kept my hands to myself careful not to touch his skin.
The last thing I wanted was for him breaking down in front of all these people.
“It’s okay”He said, soothingly and stroked my hair.
Are we okay?
“How could you let that c0cksucker survive?The job was pretty simple,Stewart! I yelled.
“Calm down,man.Damien O’Connell is one lucky son of a bitch… everything went as planned… I took another route….that led far away from town. I lied that we had a flat tyre and when I got down, I activated the bomb and it started ticking but then he got down too….He said there was no damn reception….and he walked farther away from the car trying to get signal… I was tensed, okay?…there was nothing I could do…it was just seconds remaining for the bomb to go off so I had to hurry over to him telling him the car was fixed and that was how the bomb went off….and we had to start walking….trying to get back on the expressway!”
“Damn it! He needs to fvcking die by my hands….I should have thought of that instead of the explosion.”
“Raul…we won’t do anything rash right now”Our leader,Declan walked in.
“He is going to have his security tightened… he’s going to have this incident investigated…we have to lie low”
“Are you sure the police won’t find anything that would implicate us?”I asked, curiously.
The one thing I didn’t want Sophia to find out is that I’ve gotten my hands dirtied.
“They won’t.Someone else would take the blame!”
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