We went outside together to meet kemi. As we
stepped out of the door, I saw a young lady
standing by a bike-man at the other side of
the road. I was so disappointed in what I saw,
kemi wasn’t as pretty and adoring as the lady
I have been seeing on facebook. Her face
looked so rough and full of spots compared to
the clean and radiating face I have been
seeing on facebook. Is that the babe? “Segun
asked me”. I guess so “I replied”.
I picked my phone to call her she picked. She
saw me at the other side of the road but she
refused to cross, she was waving her hand to
me that I should cross over and she was
pointing at the bikeman at the same time.
ME: ****whispers**** segun, you sure say this
babe go sure?
SEGE: just calm down and leave everything to
Segun and I crossed to the other side of the
road and we walked closer to kemi.
ME: ***hugs****hi love
KEMI: hi dear.
ME: meet my brother segun I was telling you
about, ******introduced her to segun*****
SEGE: ***hands shake**** its nice meeting you
our wife.
KEMI: ****smiled*****. Onihaxy, Please I don’t
want to stay long outdoor, I sneaked out of
the house and I must return before they find
out that I’m missing.
SEGE: lailai, that cannot be possible. Don’t
you know I have been waiting here for the past
3 days just to meet you?, I should have
travelled 2 days ago but I decided to wait and
see our wife so as to give our parents
feedback when I reached home.
ME: yeah, he is right
KEMI: ***smiled**** but you have seen me
now. I don’t want to stay outdoor for long
SEGE: ****moved closer to kemi****so you
mean main road reception is the best you can
give to your father in-law. Common baby,
don’t abuse tradition, come in and let’s know
each other formally. ******held kemi’s
KEMI: oooooooooh God.
ME: ****silent and watching******
KEMI: but the bikeman is here waiting.
SEGUN: ***moved closer to the bike while kemi
and I were walking away slowly****** how
much is your money?
BIKEMAN: 200naira

Segun paid the bikeman and the bikeman
drove away. I was amazed how segun got to
know that kemi hasn’t paid her bike fare. I
guess he observed the situation. Segun catch
up with us and we crossed together. Segun
began to chat with kemi and they were flowing
nicely. He took charge of the whole situation
as we entered the room. He entertained kemi,
asked her about her work, school, life
generally and kemi was flowing well. I was
only letting out smiles and interrupting
because segun really surprised me. After
about 8 minutes of having fun chat with kemi,
segun stood up and pulled his leather box.
SEGE: bros, I’m travelling. Let me give you and
your wife some privacy
ME: ****laughs*** ok bro. My regards to
KEMI: I will soon be going too.
SEGUN: so soon?. That reminds me. I
promised you a gift. I will tell bro onihaxy to
give you.
KEMI: *****smiled and appreciate*** thanks
my inlaw.
SEGUN: ehn ehn bros, what about the money
you want to give me now?,
ME: I thought you have forgotten
SEGE: forget ke?, lailai.
ME: that’s even good. To make things easier.
Take this ATM. *****bring out atm card from
my wallet and hand it over to segun.
Withdraw 50k from the account.
SEGE: eeeeeeh bros, everything for me?.
ME: no, my wife and I are going out for
shopping. I will. Only give you the amount you
request for, I want to use the rest for
KEMI: *****smiled and feeling relaxed and
SEGE: ****winked at me*****. Bros, that money
won’t be enough to shop for our wife after
deducting mine. Please go with enough cash.
ME: hmmmmmmmmm. So you and your wife
want to drain my account abi?
SEGE: no bros. Just do the needful, first
impression last longer.
KEMI: ****felling more relaxed**** bro segun.
Don’t mind your elder brother jaree. He is too
ME: hmmmmmm, ok, withdraw 60k then. You
should take 10k while my wife and I will use
the remaining 50k.
SEGE: that’s my lovely brother, let me rush
down to the nearest ATM.
KEMI: ******feeling totally relaxed****. Thanks
jaree uncle segun. Please be fast, I won’t be
staying long.
SEGE: **pats kemi on the shoulder*** I will be
right back dear. Even me, I need to travel
ME: ok ooooooooo. Husband and wife
KEMI: onihaxy, na jealousy go kill you
SEGE: ***laughs*****. Erhmmm, bros, I dey
Segun walked out of the room. On closing the
door, he yelled from outside. “Bro onihaxy,
come and see something”. I excused myself
from kemi and went outside to meet segun.
ME: guy u try ooooo. This your small head, na
so so bad thing full am.
SEGE: sebi I told you to leave every plans to
the event planner na.
ME: that’s my guy.
SEGE: you no well ni. I don buy time for you.
Use it well and fucck the girl wella. I no wan
hear story ooooo.
ME: so what will happen to the atm card issue
na?. I have only 2,500naira in the account.
SEGE: ******laughs*****, Mr maga, who told
you I want to withdraw money from the
account in the first place?. Abeg go fucck
wetin you want to Bleep jareeee.
I went back inside the room and met my
kemisola fully relaxed and balanced.


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