For the second night in a row, I had slept on my study table! The thick crusty Pour-flakes from my tsunami-sized ejaculation were still firmly stuck to my Aaron robe as I opened my eyes and rose from my seat! It was still 4:34am and I had to assume Mirabel wasn’t yet out of bed. It was a favorable thing knowing that I could get back to my room before she found me in the mess I was in. Moreover, my semen wasn’t still completely dry as a good amount of it still resided in its wet sticky state, just between my fairly soaked regalia and the chair under me! I had to fetch some tissue paper from under my desk to manually scrub off my semen from the wooden chair before I could finally feel safe.
As I did, memories from the previous night flooded my mind! Details of all I saw remained printed in my thoughts as I wondered how a walk to the kitchen for a cup of water would lead to the revisiting of an ugly 14-year-old past! I couldn’t justify my action and despite how hard I tried taking away my thoughts from the accusing confrontations swelling up within me, I still couldn’t help but feel devastated!
In fact, as I walked up the stairs to my bedroom, I practically felt the weight of my sin on my back! My legs became heavy and sluggish to walk and my head ached from a resounding flurry of disapproving inner voices! I could clearly hear them saying I was a pervert and a wicked lustful soul! They accused me of everything depraved and wished I could be stoned for the great evil I had done! My wet robe was still touching my legs and each time it did, a re-echoing scream of ‘sacrilege’ quickly buzzed through my thoughts! I wondered what was going to end it all as I staggered my way into my bedroom!
I initially lay on my belly, fighting hard to block my thoughts from the self-condemnation but barely succeeded! Then I dragged myself onto my knees – I had to seek for forgiveness! I couldn’t cover this one up and I had to be sanctified in other to come out of it! I had barely said anything when tears suddenly began rolling down my eyes! I was sorry and I was ready to repent! The accusing voices were now getting fainter and fainter too. And it only encouraged me to go on. But then, I was barely halfway into the prayer when sleep suddenly struck. Before I knew it, I was already sleeping, for a second time that morning.
However, I couldn’t exactly tell what woke me up an hour or so later. It looked like it was a knock on the door but when I listened to hear the knock again, I didn’t get a follow up. I couldn’t even believe I had dozed off in my prayer. But I was admittedly feeling much better by now! I felt a lot more peace and calm within me and any unsettling flashes of events from the previous night, were being easily pushed to the side! In spite of that though, I still considered myself very undeserving to hold the Friday Confessions that were going to normally come later that morning in Parish. I still had a lot of reflections to do and it just didn’t seem right being in a position to atone the sins of others when mine were in bags! I subsequently felt the obligation to send a word to the Parish Clerk instructing that the Reconciliation service for the day be shelved.
And of course, he agreed when I did and it gave me the required sense of justification. I was going to spend my day home and probably just in my bedroom. I knew I had a Mass to conduct by evening, but I was willing to relinquish it too if I found it necessary. I needed to properly think about myself. I needed to appreciate my weaknesses and figure out how to take control. I may have transgressed, but I was only human. All I had to do was promising myself that I wouldn’t let that happen again.
Unfortunately though, it soon turned out to look like a harder promise to keep. I had gotten hungry, after staying upstairs until sometime around 11am. I needed to eat. I had chosen to remain upstairs for that long because of a growing demand within me to begin to stay away from Mirabel as much as I could. She may have not been the direct cause of my sins, but she was the only reason I always had to commit sin! Avoiding her as much as I could was looking like the ideal plan if I was going to remain under the same roof with her for the time being. But given how hungry I had gotten, I needed to go downstairs for breakfast. I couldn’t even completely rule out that I woke up because she knocked earlier that morning and when I didn’t give her a response, possibly left. My food was definitely ready and probably served in the dining room. So after changing into a new vestment, I picked up the rosary at my bed’s headboard, and began going downstairs.
When I got downstairs, I had to first of all go into my library where I picked up some of my study materials. I felt since I was going to spend a lot of time at home, I could still use the period to do some extra study. But then, after doing so and walking into the dining room to pick up my food which was already served as suspected, I was totally thunderstruck by what I saw on looking to my left! For right on the center table in the living room, sat a very busy Mirabel! She had her legs widely spread to the sides and she looked like she was shaving her pubics with a blade in her hand! I went speechless!
“Who told her she was supposed to shave in the living room for goodness sake?!” my mouth tried to say but with little or no audibility! My eyes were so widely open as well as my dumbstruck mouth!
She was indeed shaving and was taking the time to run her blade severally along the skin of her crotch! Of course, I could clearly see her K!ttyC@t and it even looked more appealing this time because of the way it glistened from whatever fluid she was using as a lubricant. It was clear to the eyes that her K!ttyC@t was going to look even more alluring once she was done. The cleanly shaven portions of it, was enough testimony to this!
My food was still there on the dining table and I knew all I was supposed to do now was simply pick up my food and walk away. But for some inexplicable reasons, I couldn’t get myself to do that! I remained there standing, and with an open mouth. My eyes trailed every movement of her blade as it went over the fresh skin of her pubic region! I could hear the voices begin to return in my head and they were now even more vile than they ever were! Their use of profanity was unimaginable and they freely cussed me in bitter boiling hate! I was first called a fu-Cking unrepentant pervert! And then a fu-Cking K!ttyC@t-desperate hypocrite who has spent his life deceiving poor hapless people! The abuse was just too much but it barely changed a thing. If they could be so profane with their words, then I assumed all of us should stand accused! They weren’t the saints either, from all I could see!
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